Not herself? At the National Television Awards Cheryl did not seem like herself - was she bracing herself for some bad news?
People who saw her at the National Television Awards last week will tell you that there is something different about Cheryl Cole.
Not the immense and undeniably vulgar tattoo which sprawls across her lower back — that’s actually been around for months — but the slight air of embarrassment that hangs about her like a fug of that hairspray she’s paid to promote.
This is something of a first for Cheryl, whose rise to the status of nation’s sweetheart has, thus far, appeared unstoppable.
The Mail understands her hopes of a dream job on The X Factor USA are evaporating — an excruciating public rejection.
At the same time, her unlikely romance with dancer Derek Hough seems to have faltered. And her status as a style icon is under threat, with debate over the wisdom of her £900 tattoo raging on the internet.
Indeed, Cheryl may have thought 2010 was bad, but 2011 is already shaping up as yet another annus horribilis.
In happier times: Cheryl on X Factor with Simon Cowell - but the Mail understands she will not get the USA gig
Most surprising of all is the suggestion her relationship with her ex-husband Ashley is being rekindled. Yesterday it was reported that she met him at their former marital home in Surrey last week. Could a reconciliation really be on the cards?
Well, her romance with Derek Hough appears to be in one of its ‘off’ phases. Sources say she has ‘cold feet’ and doesn’t want to move in with him in Los Angeles. Instead, she plans to rent a place of her own. Her reasoning seems to be that although at times she feels that she loves him dearly, deep down she isn’t ready to make the commitment.
Some of her associates feel that she has yet to move on fully from Ashley. Although they are divorced, they remain in touch. ‘There is a part of me that will always love him and love what we had,’ she told an interviewer.
For his part, Ashley Cole has for months now been texting and calling her, and continues to hope that they can still be friends — and perhaps even more than that.
Surely it would be professional suicide for Cheryl to get back with him, given that he humiliated her with a series of alleged infidelities? Yet she remains — rather soppily, it must be said — unable to cut the cord from the man she regards as the love of her life.
Meanwhile, executives at Fox, who will be making The X Factor USA, appear to have fallen out of love with her.
Chemistry: But the signs are that Cheryl's relationship with Derek Hough has cooled
Cheryl never confirmed stories last year she’d signed a deal to join Simon Cowell as a judge on the American show. But at the time it was widely reported she was offered £3 million to join the line-up in what one commentator described as a ‘golden ticket to world superstardom’.
Certainly the job was mentioned to her by Cowell and executives from Fox. That much both sides will confirm off the record. Fox came to see her in action on the judging panel in the UK. They loved the way she and Cowell bantered and flirted and the expectation was that a contract would follow soon after.
Weeks turned into months, though, and nothing was made official. Yet Cheryl continued to make plans to relocate to America, to try to launch her music career there.
As recently as two weeks ago, Peter Rice, the head of entertainment at Fox, told a seminar of television critics in California: ‘If Cheryl was to be on the show, I think she’s proved she’s a terrific judge. She has wonderful chemistry with Simon.’
But he added: ‘I think Simon is still meeting and trying to find the right mixture.’
That turns out to be an ominous statement for Cheryl. It appears Cowell is keen to have her on the show in some capacity — but the American producers are unconvinced she is a big enough star to merit a place on the panel.
She may end up helping him to mentor his group, a role taken by Sinitta in the UK version. The feeling is that, while she is big in the UK, she is still a nobody in America. The show’s rival American Idol has Jennifer Lopez and Steve Tyler. Fox are keen to put their star power in the shade.
Cowell wanted Katy Perry, but she is too busy touring this year. I’m told he is also intrigued by the idea of getting someone genuinely iconic, like singer Diana Ross, to sit on the panel, possibly alongside a younger star such as former Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger.
Speaking at the National Television Awards, he indicated the show needs to be ‘bigger and better’ than any other he has done, which does not augur well for Cheryl.
Cowell is supposedly doing ‘everything in his power’ to persuade U.S. bosses that Miss Cole is the right choice to sit alongside him.
However, one friend of Simon’s told me he is making the decision in his customary way — which is to leave it until the last moment and then go, quite ruthlessly, with his gut instinct. So far, the indications are that his instinct is not favouring her.
Emotion: Ashley Cole is understood to have contacted Cheryl after her breakdown while speaking about him on Piers Morgan's Life Stories
So with Ashley still a presence in her life, Cheryl will continue to carve a future for herself in Los Angeles, even without the help of either Simon Cowell or Derek Hough.
She already has a busy programme of promotional activity in America for her album launch there.
She is also weighing up an offer from her friend Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas to appear as a judge on a TV show searching for an ‘urban’ performer.
This is welcome, as she would like to have more musical credibility. Somewhat predictably, she’s up for Worst Album and Least Stylish at the NME awards. Her supporters point out she has two Brit Award nominations, so why should she care?
But care she clearly does.
The bondage-style £2,200 Versace dress she poured herself into for last week’s awards shows off the handiwork of Mark Mahoney of the Shamrock Social Club tattoo studio in Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles.
Mahoney, who has also worked on David Beckham, spent 11 hours on the butterfly-based design descending down her back. It was done last August, as she holidayed in the city while recovering from malaria.
It’s said to symbolise growth and renewal. You can’t blame her for wanting a fresh start — but to have it emblazoned so permanently is an odd decision.
But then Cheryl is a curious mixture of hard confidence and insecurity, particularly when it comes to her appearance.
Although she loves fashion and calls it a ‘massive’ part of who she is, she has not enjoyed being elevated to the status of fashion icon. She told Elle magazine this year that she ‘couldn’t care less’ what the world thinks of her style. ‘If they like it, they like it.’
She added: ‘There’s only so much you can cope with and then you either allow it to swallow you up or you say: “Sod this.” I have had it with negativity and bitchiness.
‘I want people to like my music, but I couldn’t give a **** about what they think of me.’
Brave words of defiance. Indeed, Cheryl sounds very much like a young woman who — rightly or wrongly — is steeling herself for the probability of a big public rejection.
It remains to be seen whether meeting her ex-husband is another sign of her insecurity.
Source:Dailymail